New Day...

Well got a call today about another interview. It will be on Monday at 1:30 so please pray. It is a bookkeeping/clerical position. It is a part time position for a flower shop.

Last night I got a bit frustrated but it is okay. We will address it all in therapy. My dad called and let me know that he stopped at the house to see if he could get Kyle's hunting safety sheet. Todd informed my dad that him and his mom cleaned the house and they did not keep anything. They did not sort through anything - they just threw everything out.

I really wanted to call him up and lash out but that is not what I did. I did nothing instead. I just let it all sink in.

The more and more I hear the more and more I think he is doing the therapy just so it looks like he is trying. The more and more I think he doesn't expect us to be coming back home.

Lindsey asked me yesterday if I want my marriage to work and I do but right now I a really frustrated. I am getting phone calls from people letting me know they have seen signs for a garage sale. Now Todd tells my dad they just threw everything away.

I am guarantee you he didn't just throw his things or Adam's things away.

Adam is there this weekend. On the way when I told him he was going to spend the weekend there I listened to Adam say, "Why isn't Kyle going?" of course I tried to change the subject because how do you tell a 7 year old it is because his dad doesn't want him there. Then I hear, "I think Dad hates Kyle because Kyle never gets to do cool things with us like I do." From the mouths of babes.... Sad because if the 7 year old gets it so does the 13 year old.

Lord please help me have the right heart when we go into therapy on Thursday. Right now I do not have the feelings. I am very angry and bitter and I do not want that to be showing while we are working things out. If my heart is not in the right place - I know everyone will see it. Help me to get right with You and right inside. In Your name - Amen....