I Want To Scream...

I keep on reading and re-reading all the letters and I want to scream....

So maybe I am wrong. Maybe I just need to give in. Maybe I just need to go file for divorce and say screw this.

I am frustrated right now.

I could end it all (or I would like to think so) by just asking for a paternity test for Adam but I won't.

I do not think me asking for us to wait to make this decision until we are in therapy is such a huge request.

My biggest concern is FOR the boys! Can you imagine how Kyle is going to feel? He is a 13 year old boy who is once again being rejected by the dad he has grown up knowing since he was 4.5 years old!

Adam does not deal with change well. How is he going to handle school and homework if he is being moved back and forth and things are done different in each home?I really just want it to all be over.

I really right now just want to say screw therapy and file for divorce.

Of course that isn't what I really want but each time I read these letters - I just want to cry and give in to make it all go away.