First Set of letters about Visitation

Todd,

I can not give you a yes or no answer. I have been saying the same thing and to you it is not an acceptable answer. I do not feel I can talk to you about anything right now because even in emails you are not hearing/reading/accepting what I am saying.

I do not want to keep Adam away from you but I do believe he needs to have consistancy during his school week. Would it be possible for you to just take him for the weekend right now and then when we start therapy we will talk about it with the therapist.

You keep on saying I am not putting Adam's well being in place here and that is what I am doing. I am afriad it would be way to confusing and overwhelming for him to be at a different home during the school week.

Please let me know what you think.
Amy
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Amy,

I appreciate your willingness to discuss this. I’m sorry if you don’t think I am listening to you. I assure you that I am. I guess I’m just confused... I don’t see how alternating locations each week would cause much confusion. As long as it is structured and doesn’t change, he will deal with it just fine.

If you are concerned about rules with schoolwork, vs. playing, vs. whatever, I don’t have any problem implementing the same rules that you are using so he does not have to remember who’s rules apply where. As for schedules, I will try to keep him on the same schedule that you do, so that is consistent as well. Bedtime will of course be correlated to whatever you are using, and meal time will be as close as we can make it.

All of his school related things that he needs to work on typically stay in his backpack, so he would have all of his stuff that he needed. As long as we both made sure that school related items stayed in his backpack, we wouldn’t run into any issues with him leaving something one place and needing it at the other.

All I am asking for is equal time with him. I thought my proposal was well thought out, fair to both of us, and made sense. One week at a time, making the switch on Friday after school, so he has the whole weekend to get adjusted (if required at all), and then to School on Monday, through Friday. I figured making the switch on Friday, would give him something to look forward to for each upcoming weekend and would help get him through the week. I made sure to suggest that he was with you during the weekends that Kyle is there so he has maximum time with his brother. All in all, I thought it was a very well thought out proposal. I understand your concerns, but I don’t think that switching places will be as big of an adjustment problem as you perceive. Doing it on Friday will make sure that any adjustment will be the furthest from the next school day. Please give this serious consideration Amy.

Thank you.