Church

Had our church picnic today.

Talked to Melanie who long ago had Todd arrested for assaulting her while they lived together in Arizona. She said maybe people will believe I didn't cause it now. Well she said a lot and that wasn't the other thing but it stuck with me because for so long I have believed I caused him to do these things.

I believed I made him keep money from me. I made him think of himself and only himself. I made him yell at me. I made him throw things at me. I made him do these things because I pushed his buttons.

Yet a while ago a light went on and I realized I didn't make him do these things to me. He always wants Kyle to take responsibility for his actions when he gets angry and yet Todd always blames others.

You know I have seen more and more lately that you see and can pick out things in others you really dislike about yourself. You hate people who do the things you do that you hate about yourself.