Emotions...

Yesterday was such an up and down day.

The night before I actually slept good all night long. I got up to go the bathroom a few times but was able to fall right back to sleep. Then yesterday during the day I laid down because my head was hurting and I slept for a little bit longer. It was nice.

Of course though once I was up - everything seemed to go wrong...

Getting emails from Todd about Adam's racing revealed a new venture. Of course I figured it was in his parents name and I was correct to assume that. After some digging I saw the new web site (hosted by PowerWare; Admin is Todd) was owned by a company that is a LLC that is managed/run by Jean (Todd's mom).

I just sat and cried. I know most of you probably have no clue why I would cry over them starting a new company and if you really don't know and want to - let me know and I will explain.

Then I started to get emails from Kyle's teachers. We are on day 9 of school and we already have incomplete projects and things of that nature. All this week and last week I gave Kyle the benefit of the doubt. I believed in him. He was going to school early. Then to get those emails - just crushed me.

I knew I was going to have to give out consequences for the lies and the other things and I also knew what that meant I would be getting for a reaction and where it would lead to.

I just sat and cried some more.

We (my whole family) has been reaching out trying to get Kyle to care and be motivated and whatever else needs to happen and instead he just regresses further and further back. He just does not care, does not get it, does not think about it, it just does not matter to him...

I am watching my son go down the path I went down at his age; only worse. I could see him in prison or dead before he is 19 years old.

How sad is that to even admit to?!