Every email lately from Todd - he attempts to treat me like a 2 year old or tries to make me feel dumb or as if I am ignorant and can't figure things out on my own.
I am none of the above.
There are days when I really feel like those things because of all I hear in my head BUT I know I am not any one of those things.
I am working on feeling intelligent. I am working on realizing I am a beautiful person. I am working on having self-confidence. I am working on being the person He made me to be.
I am not perfect - I am not close.
I have been very depressed lately. I am still down. It does not feel as heavy today as it has in the past bit of time but it is still there looming. I did call my PDoc yesterday and they called in an antidepressant for me. I have not started it yet but will here this week.
I am not at the lowest I have ever been in my life but I am pretty low. The biggest difference at this point in my life is I do have someone who loves me and cares and wants me well. I am not with someone who just tells me to deal with it or to snap out of it. The person I am with actually cares about me.
The feeling that depression leaves on the soul is so hard to explain. Everyone has different lows when it comes to their breaking point. I have pushed the feeling aside and just kept on telling myself I would snap out of it. I would push through. I would be okay.
I guess I took the first step yesterday by saying - I need help...
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2 comments:
Although I do not fully understand it... even though you've told me I also deal with it from time to time... and I gre up around it... I am glad that God has given you someone who is helping you through this valley...
ybiC
I'm glad you took that first step, and I'm so glad you have someone closer to you who cares about you!
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