Just a funny clip that was sent to me! Enjoy it really...
Go to: http://www.cardclips.com/
Click on: Mom is Santa
Showing posts with label Holidays. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Holidays. Show all posts
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Mediation Wording...
Before everyone makes comments about the whole email insanity that has been going on here is the exact wording in the mediation/visitation agreement regarding Christmas/Christmas Vacation.
Christmas: Amy and Todd will accommodate each others extended family holiday celebration schedule. Additionally, Christmas Day will be considered Christmas Eve, December 24, overnight until Christmas Day, December 25, as one holiday, and the parties will alternate that holiday. Todd will have 2007 and odd years thereafter, and Amy will have 2008 and even years thereafter.Christmas Vacation: The parties will evenly divide the Christmas vacation. The parties have agreed to not have
specific times for the holiday schedule but to work those schedules out.
So there are somethings left out - like my conversation with my lawyer (for the emails) but overall - you get the idea...
Email Insanity (Part 1)....
Email 1:
Todd,
I tried to reach you via phone this morning but did not have any luck.
There are a few things I needed to talk to you about so I am just going to send them in this email. I do not have a computer at this time. It died on me again yesterday morning and right now I am at the library sending this out.
December 4th is Adam Christmas Concert. I do not have a time yet for it though. I am going to guess it is somewhere around 7 PM but am not completely sure. As soon as it comes home I will let you know the time.
December 9th is my dad's Christmas party and I want to know if it is okay if I pick Adam up around 11 that day and take him to the movie with the rest of the family. Also I would bring him back as soon as the movie is over. Please let me know ASAP because my dad has to put in the request for the tickets in the next day or so.
December 22nd and 23rd are the family Christmas parties (Wetzel and my immediate family). So instead of you picking up Adam from school on the 21st you will pick him up the morning of the 24th.
We still need to work out the details for the Christmas break as well and I would like to get that done as soon as possible.
Also this date is not set in stone but I will know better next week on the 26th. The doctors have been talking about inducing me on the 11th of December. I want to make sure that it is okay for Adam to stay with you while I am in the hospital having her. Obviously I could go into the hospital prior if there are more complications but I want to get that set up with you as soon as I can. If it isn't going to be okay then I will just have him go where Kyle is going; which is fine but I thought you might like some extra time with him.
Unless you are able to get back to me in the next 40 minutes - I will not get the response to your email until tomorrow (the 20th).
Thank you,
Amy
Email 2:
Amy,
Sorry you couldn’t get a hold of me on the phone. It’s probably better to put this in writing so we can discuss each one separately anyway. I will reply to your email inline below... (edited by Amy to add - *** indicate his response)
Todd,
I tried to reach you via phone this morning but did not have any luck.
There are a few things I needed to talk to you about so I am just going to send them in this email. I do not have a computer at this time. It died on me again yesterday morning and right now I am at the library sending this out.
December 4th is Adam Christmas Concert. I do not have a time yet for it though. I am going to guess it is somewhere around 7 PM but am not completely sure. As soon as it comes home I will let you know the time.
*** Thank you for that information.
December 9th is my dad's Christmas party and I want to know if it is okay if I pick Adam up around 11 that day and take him to the movie with the rest of the family. Also I would bring him back as soon as the movie is over. Please let me know ASAP because my dad has to put in the request for the tickets in the next day or so.
*** December 7th, 8th, and 9th is the first full weekend of December. So as far as I know, you would have had him that weekend anyway. So I don’t suppose there will be an issue.
December 22nd and 23rd are the family Christmas parties (Wetzel and my immediate family). So instead of you picking up Adam from school on the 21st you will pick him up the morning of the 24th.
*** The Powers Family Christmas was scheduled for December 22nd, because that was a weekend that I was going to have Adam. My mother had expected us to come up on the 22nd, and then stay over for the 23rd to have our individual family Christmas that day. I don’t want Adam to miss Christmas with either of our families. As a compromise, I can probably convince her to have our family Christmas on the 21st instead, so I can have Adam back to you by the evening of the 22nd, so he can participate in your immediate family Christmas. I just need to know that you will let me have him on the afternoon of the 20th, so we can go up to my parents that evening.
We still need to work out the details for the Christmas break as well and I would like to get that done as soon as possible.
*** Well, Christmas is my holiday this year. The schedule that was defined, indicated that I would have him from Friday, the 21st through the morning of December 31st, with the exception that he would come over to your house on the 25th for your immediate family Christmas. He would be with you for New Years, and the remainder of his Christmas break. However, since you are going to need Adam on the weekend of the 23rd, we may need to trade a day. Let me know what day you want to trade.
Also this date is not set in stone but I will know better next week on the 26th. The doctors have been talking about inducing me on the 11th of December. I want to make sure that it is okay for Adam to stay with you while I am in the hospital having her. Obviously I could go into the hospital prior if there are more complications but I want to get that set up with you as soon as I can. If it isn't going to be okay then I will just have him go where Kyle is going; which is fine but I thought you might like some extra time with him.
*** As far as I know, that will be okay. You have him the weekend of the 7th, 8th, and 9th, which means I would have him on the 10th anyway. I can just keep him for the week if that would be more convenient for you.
Unless you are able to get back to me in the next 40 minutes - I will not get the response to your email until tomorrow (the 20th).
Thank you,
Amy
Email 3:
Todd,
I am not going to reply section by section but I am going to address some of the issues...
While we were in mediation we agreed to split Christmas break evenly. You also agreed to work with me regarding my family holiday times; with it being said that the Wetzels are now celebrating Christmas the Saturday PRIOR to Christmas. I recall you saying something about what if Christmas Eve falls on Saturday and Christmas falls on Sunday and being told that if it was your holiday that year - you would triumph working with the family Christmas on my side. So you were aware of when the Christmas would be on August 22nd this year.
Then again on October 6th I sent you an email regarding the Christmas holiday's with a proposed schedule and the dates that I would be needing Adam for the Christmas season. You replied on October 9th with you not having time to discuss it due to you seeking out homes and so on. Then you also let me know that you sent a proposed visitation schedule. So you go from telling me you have no time to discuss what I sent you to I need to find time to discuss what you sent me.
Then I sent you another email on November 19th. I get your response on the November 20th with things that are just not acceptable. You were more than aware of the time frames I would be needing Adam. You have Adam Christmas Eve and Day this year. I can not help if your mom was planning on you being there - you should have told her back in August and then again in October that you would not have Adam the weekend prior to Christmas.
There has not been a defined schedule for when you will have Adam. I have been trying to get your to define with me a schedule since October 6th and you refused to do so. So I am not sure where you get that the "defined" schedule is for you to have Adam from the 21st until the 31st. I sent nothing to you that was even close to that. Even if that is what you sent to your lawyer - I have never agreed with you for that to be the schedule.
I have been more than willing to work with you on this schedule but you have not been all to willing to work with me as you eluded to in your email from October.
At this point in time we are going to go with a schedule similar to the first one I sent you. I have enclosed it below so you can work out your family holidays with it in front of you.
Amy:
December - 22, 23, 29, 30, 31
January 1, 2, 3, 4
with pick up in the early AM on the 24th and 29th and Noon on the 5th
Todd:
December - 24, 25, 26, 27, 28
January 5, 6, 7
with pick up in early AM on 24th and 29th and Noon on 5th
I still do not have the time for Adam's Christmas Concert.
I do need to know if you would be able to get Adam to school the morning of December 10th. I would drop him off at about 7:20 in the morning. I have an appointment that I need to be to by 8 that morning. Then if all goes well with that appointment they will be inducing me on the 11th and Adam would need to stay with you for the time I am in the hospital. I won't know for sure though about the 11th until later in the day on the 10th but I will be sure to tell you as soon as I can.
If you have any questions please let me know.
Amy
Email 4:
Amy,
The defined schedule was sent to your lawyer over two months ago. Your lawyer requested that of me and I complied with his request. I wanted to work on a schedule with you, but was told that was not an option and I just needed to provide a schedule, laying out all of the days of the year. Check with your lawyer regarding that. He has the schedule, whether or not he has shared it with you.
The schedule that you provided is not a “split” schedule for Christmas break, as we had agreed to in mediation. We are supposed to split the holiday evenly. The schedule you provided only gives me two days. That is not what we agreed to.
The weekend of the 22nd is my weekend. I was offering to split that up for you so that Adam could participate in both Christmases. You can’t possibly demand that I give up my weekend. If you are going to do that, then I guess I won’t offer to split the weekend with you at all.On the other hand, if you want to work with me, we can come up with a schedule that will work for both of us. You’ll have to talk with your family and see if you can move the immediate family Christmas around so that Adam can be there. Since it is only you and your brothers and sisters, that is obviously more flexible than expecting me to get the entire Powers family to move their date.
If you want to work with me on this, I will be happy to. But I’m not going to sit here and take orders from you.
Adam’s Christmas holiday is to be split 50/50 between you and I.
The weekend of the 22nd and 23rd is my weekend. If you want Adam on the 23rd, that is fine, but I will need to pick him up after school on Thursday the 20th in return, so that we can get up to my parents and celebrate Christmas with them on the 21st.
I’m offering to compromise. I’m sorry if it doesn’t match your plans exactly, but it doesn’t match my family’s plans exactly either. We’re BOTH going to have to budge a little bit here.
-Todd
Email 5:
Todd,
Just because my lawyer asked for what you would like defined as a visitation schedule does not mean that it was agreed to. So that does not make what you put on paper set in stone. As for knowing about this - you told me a while ago you sent it and I asked you to send it to me and you have yet to do it. So no I have no clue what was on it.
I am not sure how you figure you only get two of his days with the schedule that I sent to you. Here are the days I put down for you.... December 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, January 5, 6, 7 - that would be more than 2 days.
As for when is your weekends - we have nothing set in stone. We have nothing that has been signed off as a temp order or permanent order for visitation at this point in time.
You have been aware for a long time now about when the holiday for my family was. You have him for both Christmas day and eve; which you have known about since August 22nd. So why your parents would switch the day that they normally do the Powers' Christmas is beyond me (Christmas Eve for the full 10 years we were together) when she knew you would have Adam on those days.
Adam is not missing school. He would miss his holiday parties and other things if you took him on the 20th. It is not an option. He is not missing school for a day when he has a 16 day break!
As for me not working with you - I have been trying to work with you on this issue since October 6th and you have refused.
-Amy
Email 6:
Amy,
I attempted to work with you to come up with a schedule and you told me that there should be “no further communication directly with you”, and that “everything would have to e handled through your lawyer”. So I talked to my lawyer and asked her to get things facilitated. Your lawyer required that I simply define the schedule. That’s what I did. That’s what was agreed to. Whether or not your lawyer shared this information with you or not, is none of my concern. It sounds like you have a communication problem with your lawyer.
Why and whether the Powers family decided to change their typical Christmas celebration day, is really none of your concern. But if you must know, it is because most of my cousins have kids of their own and it is much too difficult for everyone to get all of the kids packed up and back home by Christmas eve. So the family decided to change it this year. If you have a problem with that, you can take it up with the Powers family in general, not me. It is not me that decided on the date.
The schedule that you outlined is not even accurate. I still get Adam on the weekends, like I normally would. The remainder of the week days during Christmas break are supposed to be split between you and I. The schedule that you have outlined includes you having him for both weekends. I’m sorry, but I’m not going to give up my weekends. If you want him the weekend of the 29th and 30th, in place of the first weekend in January, I will be happy to swap those for you, but that would mean that I would have Adam on the 31st. (The Monday after your weekend) Since you are supposed to have him for New Years, that really doesn’t make sense to switch.
Regardless. I have Adam the weekend of the 22nd and 23rd. If you would like to have him on the 23rd, I will need to find another time to have our immediate family Christmas with my Mother, Father, Tim, Ann, Adam, and I. I am willing to find another time for that so that you can have him on the 23rd. However, I doubt that there is any other good option, other than the 21st. (Friday) Neither my brother and Ann, or Adam and I would want to make the trip all the way up there to Hart just for one day. It should coincide with the Powers family Christmas on the 22nd.
I’m trying to be flexible here and work with you. You said you wanted him on Sunday. I don’t have a problem with that, but our Christmas is on Saturday. So I can not trade both days away.
I’m sorry if that is not exactly what you were hoping for, but it is the best that I can offer. Please understand that I am trying to work with you here.
Todd,
I tried to reach you via phone this morning but did not have any luck.
There are a few things I needed to talk to you about so I am just going to send them in this email. I do not have a computer at this time. It died on me again yesterday morning and right now I am at the library sending this out.
December 4th is Adam Christmas Concert. I do not have a time yet for it though. I am going to guess it is somewhere around 7 PM but am not completely sure. As soon as it comes home I will let you know the time.
December 9th is my dad's Christmas party and I want to know if it is okay if I pick Adam up around 11 that day and take him to the movie with the rest of the family. Also I would bring him back as soon as the movie is over. Please let me know ASAP because my dad has to put in the request for the tickets in the next day or so.
December 22nd and 23rd are the family Christmas parties (Wetzel and my immediate family). So instead of you picking up Adam from school on the 21st you will pick him up the morning of the 24th.
We still need to work out the details for the Christmas break as well and I would like to get that done as soon as possible.
Also this date is not set in stone but I will know better next week on the 26th. The doctors have been talking about inducing me on the 11th of December. I want to make sure that it is okay for Adam to stay with you while I am in the hospital having her. Obviously I could go into the hospital prior if there are more complications but I want to get that set up with you as soon as I can. If it isn't going to be okay then I will just have him go where Kyle is going; which is fine but I thought you might like some extra time with him.
Unless you are able to get back to me in the next 40 minutes - I will not get the response to your email until tomorrow (the 20th).
Thank you,
Amy
Email 2:
Amy,
Sorry you couldn’t get a hold of me on the phone. It’s probably better to put this in writing so we can discuss each one separately anyway. I will reply to your email inline below... (edited by Amy to add - *** indicate his response)
Todd,
I tried to reach you via phone this morning but did not have any luck.
There are a few things I needed to talk to you about so I am just going to send them in this email. I do not have a computer at this time. It died on me again yesterday morning and right now I am at the library sending this out.
December 4th is Adam Christmas Concert. I do not have a time yet for it though. I am going to guess it is somewhere around 7 PM but am not completely sure. As soon as it comes home I will let you know the time.
*** Thank you for that information.
December 9th is my dad's Christmas party and I want to know if it is okay if I pick Adam up around 11 that day and take him to the movie with the rest of the family. Also I would bring him back as soon as the movie is over. Please let me know ASAP because my dad has to put in the request for the tickets in the next day or so.
*** December 7th, 8th, and 9th is the first full weekend of December. So as far as I know, you would have had him that weekend anyway. So I don’t suppose there will be an issue.
December 22nd and 23rd are the family Christmas parties (Wetzel and my immediate family). So instead of you picking up Adam from school on the 21st you will pick him up the morning of the 24th.
*** The Powers Family Christmas was scheduled for December 22nd, because that was a weekend that I was going to have Adam. My mother had expected us to come up on the 22nd, and then stay over for the 23rd to have our individual family Christmas that day. I don’t want Adam to miss Christmas with either of our families. As a compromise, I can probably convince her to have our family Christmas on the 21st instead, so I can have Adam back to you by the evening of the 22nd, so he can participate in your immediate family Christmas. I just need to know that you will let me have him on the afternoon of the 20th, so we can go up to my parents that evening.
We still need to work out the details for the Christmas break as well and I would like to get that done as soon as possible.
*** Well, Christmas is my holiday this year. The schedule that was defined, indicated that I would have him from Friday, the 21st through the morning of December 31st, with the exception that he would come over to your house on the 25th for your immediate family Christmas. He would be with you for New Years, and the remainder of his Christmas break. However, since you are going to need Adam on the weekend of the 23rd, we may need to trade a day. Let me know what day you want to trade.
Also this date is not set in stone but I will know better next week on the 26th. The doctors have been talking about inducing me on the 11th of December. I want to make sure that it is okay for Adam to stay with you while I am in the hospital having her. Obviously I could go into the hospital prior if there are more complications but I want to get that set up with you as soon as I can. If it isn't going to be okay then I will just have him go where Kyle is going; which is fine but I thought you might like some extra time with him.
*** As far as I know, that will be okay. You have him the weekend of the 7th, 8th, and 9th, which means I would have him on the 10th anyway. I can just keep him for the week if that would be more convenient for you.
Unless you are able to get back to me in the next 40 minutes - I will not get the response to your email until tomorrow (the 20th).
Thank you,
Amy
Email 3:
Todd,
I am not going to reply section by section but I am going to address some of the issues...
While we were in mediation we agreed to split Christmas break evenly. You also agreed to work with me regarding my family holiday times; with it being said that the Wetzels are now celebrating Christmas the Saturday PRIOR to Christmas. I recall you saying something about what if Christmas Eve falls on Saturday and Christmas falls on Sunday and being told that if it was your holiday that year - you would triumph working with the family Christmas on my side. So you were aware of when the Christmas would be on August 22nd this year.
Then again on October 6th I sent you an email regarding the Christmas holiday's with a proposed schedule and the dates that I would be needing Adam for the Christmas season. You replied on October 9th with you not having time to discuss it due to you seeking out homes and so on. Then you also let me know that you sent a proposed visitation schedule. So you go from telling me you have no time to discuss what I sent you to I need to find time to discuss what you sent me.
Then I sent you another email on November 19th. I get your response on the November 20th with things that are just not acceptable. You were more than aware of the time frames I would be needing Adam. You have Adam Christmas Eve and Day this year. I can not help if your mom was planning on you being there - you should have told her back in August and then again in October that you would not have Adam the weekend prior to Christmas.
There has not been a defined schedule for when you will have Adam. I have been trying to get your to define with me a schedule since October 6th and you refused to do so. So I am not sure where you get that the "defined" schedule is for you to have Adam from the 21st until the 31st. I sent nothing to you that was even close to that. Even if that is what you sent to your lawyer - I have never agreed with you for that to be the schedule.
I have been more than willing to work with you on this schedule but you have not been all to willing to work with me as you eluded to in your email from October.
At this point in time we are going to go with a schedule similar to the first one I sent you. I have enclosed it below so you can work out your family holidays with it in front of you.
Amy:
December - 22, 23, 29, 30, 31
January 1, 2, 3, 4
with pick up in the early AM on the 24th and 29th and Noon on the 5th
Todd:
December - 24, 25, 26, 27, 28
January 5, 6, 7
with pick up in early AM on 24th and 29th and Noon on 5th
I still do not have the time for Adam's Christmas Concert.
I do need to know if you would be able to get Adam to school the morning of December 10th. I would drop him off at about 7:20 in the morning. I have an appointment that I need to be to by 8 that morning. Then if all goes well with that appointment they will be inducing me on the 11th and Adam would need to stay with you for the time I am in the hospital. I won't know for sure though about the 11th until later in the day on the 10th but I will be sure to tell you as soon as I can.
If you have any questions please let me know.
Amy
Email 4:
Amy,
The defined schedule was sent to your lawyer over two months ago. Your lawyer requested that of me and I complied with his request. I wanted to work on a schedule with you, but was told that was not an option and I just needed to provide a schedule, laying out all of the days of the year. Check with your lawyer regarding that. He has the schedule, whether or not he has shared it with you.
The schedule that you provided is not a “split” schedule for Christmas break, as we had agreed to in mediation. We are supposed to split the holiday evenly. The schedule you provided only gives me two days. That is not what we agreed to.
The weekend of the 22nd is my weekend. I was offering to split that up for you so that Adam could participate in both Christmases. You can’t possibly demand that I give up my weekend. If you are going to do that, then I guess I won’t offer to split the weekend with you at all.On the other hand, if you want to work with me, we can come up with a schedule that will work for both of us. You’ll have to talk with your family and see if you can move the immediate family Christmas around so that Adam can be there. Since it is only you and your brothers and sisters, that is obviously more flexible than expecting me to get the entire Powers family to move their date.
If you want to work with me on this, I will be happy to. But I’m not going to sit here and take orders from you.
Adam’s Christmas holiday is to be split 50/50 between you and I.
The weekend of the 22nd and 23rd is my weekend. If you want Adam on the 23rd, that is fine, but I will need to pick him up after school on Thursday the 20th in return, so that we can get up to my parents and celebrate Christmas with them on the 21st.
I’m offering to compromise. I’m sorry if it doesn’t match your plans exactly, but it doesn’t match my family’s plans exactly either. We’re BOTH going to have to budge a little bit here.
-Todd
Email 5:
Todd,
Just because my lawyer asked for what you would like defined as a visitation schedule does not mean that it was agreed to. So that does not make what you put on paper set in stone. As for knowing about this - you told me a while ago you sent it and I asked you to send it to me and you have yet to do it. So no I have no clue what was on it.
I am not sure how you figure you only get two of his days with the schedule that I sent to you. Here are the days I put down for you.... December 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, January 5, 6, 7 - that would be more than 2 days.
As for when is your weekends - we have nothing set in stone. We have nothing that has been signed off as a temp order or permanent order for visitation at this point in time.
You have been aware for a long time now about when the holiday for my family was. You have him for both Christmas day and eve; which you have known about since August 22nd. So why your parents would switch the day that they normally do the Powers' Christmas is beyond me (Christmas Eve for the full 10 years we were together) when she knew you would have Adam on those days.
Adam is not missing school. He would miss his holiday parties and other things if you took him on the 20th. It is not an option. He is not missing school for a day when he has a 16 day break!
As for me not working with you - I have been trying to work with you on this issue since October 6th and you have refused.
-Amy
Email 6:
Amy,
I attempted to work with you to come up with a schedule and you told me that there should be “no further communication directly with you”, and that “everything would have to e handled through your lawyer”. So I talked to my lawyer and asked her to get things facilitated. Your lawyer required that I simply define the schedule. That’s what I did. That’s what was agreed to. Whether or not your lawyer shared this information with you or not, is none of my concern. It sounds like you have a communication problem with your lawyer.
Why and whether the Powers family decided to change their typical Christmas celebration day, is really none of your concern. But if you must know, it is because most of my cousins have kids of their own and it is much too difficult for everyone to get all of the kids packed up and back home by Christmas eve. So the family decided to change it this year. If you have a problem with that, you can take it up with the Powers family in general, not me. It is not me that decided on the date.
The schedule that you outlined is not even accurate. I still get Adam on the weekends, like I normally would. The remainder of the week days during Christmas break are supposed to be split between you and I. The schedule that you have outlined includes you having him for both weekends. I’m sorry, but I’m not going to give up my weekends. If you want him the weekend of the 29th and 30th, in place of the first weekend in January, I will be happy to swap those for you, but that would mean that I would have Adam on the 31st. (The Monday after your weekend) Since you are supposed to have him for New Years, that really doesn’t make sense to switch.
Regardless. I have Adam the weekend of the 22nd and 23rd. If you would like to have him on the 23rd, I will need to find another time to have our immediate family Christmas with my Mother, Father, Tim, Ann, Adam, and I. I am willing to find another time for that so that you can have him on the 23rd. However, I doubt that there is any other good option, other than the 21st. (Friday) Neither my brother and Ann, or Adam and I would want to make the trip all the way up there to Hart just for one day. It should coincide with the Powers family Christmas on the 22nd.
I’m trying to be flexible here and work with you. You said you wanted him on Sunday. I don’t have a problem with that, but our Christmas is on Saturday. So I can not trade both days away.
I’m sorry if that is not exactly what you were hoping for, but it is the best that I can offer. Please understand that I am trying to work with you here.
Email Insanity (Part 2)....
Email 7:
Todd,
If you are going to quote me - it would do you well to quote what was actually written. The email was from October 10th and the whole email was in regards to the sale of the house. I ended it with this paragraph, "As far as dealing with this divorce ourselves. I am done. From this point on - unless it has to do with Adam directly - point all issues to your lawyer and your lawyer will get in touch with mine; whom will then contact me." If you notice it is very specific that unless it has to do with Adam directly; which the visitation would be; to use the lawyers.
Do not tell me you attempted to work out a visitation schedule with me because it was in those emails you told me that this was the least of your concern and you would only deal with one issue at a time and that issue at that point in time was the sale of the house.
Please contact me after you have had your meeting with your lawyer in December and then we will discuss the visitation at that point.
Amy
Email 8:
Amy,
I don’t take the time to remember every word that you said to me. You’re not worth my time. The only think I remembered is that you hung up on me, saying that everything needed to go through your lawyer. So that’s what I did. Apparently that was the best decision anyway, because you are obviously NOT willing to compromise on any visitation arrangements.
I’m not sure what you are referring to in regards to a meeting with my lawyer in December. I do not have anything scheduled with her at that time.
I’m going to assume by your short email, that you are no longer interested in coming to a compromise concerning Adam’s Christmas break. I was more than willing to discuss you having Adam on the 23rd, as I do not want him to miss out on your family’s Christmas. That is obviously still an option if you want to discuss it.
-Todd
Email 9:
Todd,
I never told you to go through the lawyers and then hung up on you. I have done 99% of the communication with you via email since August.
You need to understand that having Adam on weekends do not mean more than my weeks. Christmas vacation is to be split evenly - and that does mean you will be giving up what has been going on; the weekends during the break he has. Do not tell me I am the one who is unwilling to compromise. You are saying to me that your time is still yours and you are not giving them up but the time I would normally have Adam I have to share. You are being very irrational over what equally split means. If you are unwilling to give up your time then I will consider just keeping the regular schedule. You would have him from 4 PM on the 21st until 8 AM on the 24th and then 4 PM on the 28th until 8 AM on the 31st. Then once school resumes you would pick him up for your overnight at 4 PM on the 7th until 8 AM on the 8th.
Todd you have been aware of when my families Christmas was going to be since our mediation in August. If you decided not to share that with your family - to be perfectly honest - it isn't my fault or problem.
Just because my lawyer asked you to submit what you wanted for visitation does not mean that is what was agreed upon. Nothing has been set in stone. As a matter of fact at this point in time there is no temporary or permanent order in place for visitation with Adam between us. We went through mediation and I have been following that but since you still don't agree to what was decided upon while we were there I am wondering why I am following that at all.
Well your lawyer let mine know she needed to meet with your mom in December to go over what went on in court in order to decide the next steps that needed to be taken (or something along those lines). I kind of got the idea that you would be involved with that process since it is you and I going through the divorce and not your mom and I.
After I have had time to sort through what is going on with all of this - I will get back to you. It probably won't be until next week though because of the holiday and not getting a response from Ken until he is back in the office.
-Amy
Todd,
On another note - I still do not know if you are willing to have me drop Adam off early on the morning of the 10th or not - you have not answered that for me. Also the week of the 11th if I am to be induced I need to know for sure if you are willing to have him there. I have to have this set so I know where each of the boys are going and when. I have started to work on other arraignments because your response was more like you are doing me a favor than you really wanting him there. So please let me know.
-Amy
Email 10:
Amy,
In mediation, you agreed to split the holiday vacation IN ADDITION TO our normal visitation schedule. It sounds to me as if you were not totally aware of exactly what we were talking about in mediation. Perhaps you should have conferred with your lawyer if you were confused. If you are now not willing to split the Christmas vacation with me, as you agreed to in mediation, then I will go ahead and take Adam on my normal weekends, in addition to Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, which are mine this year. I will pick him up on the 21st, and drop him back off on the morning of the 26th.
Since New Years is yours, and that is Monday night/Tuesday morning, then you will have Adam then anyway. Perhaps you and he can celebrate together the 1-year anniversary of the day you gave up on our marriage.
You will also have him on the first weekend of January (4,5,6), so I will pick him up on the 7th for my normal Monday.
Since you are unwilling to split the Christmas vacation time with me, then I expect to make that time up at some other time during the year. I will let you know in advance when there are approximately 5 days that I would like to have Adam.
Contrary to your belief, I have NOT been aware of your family Christmas schedule until the email that you just sent me this week. You MENTIONED in mediation that your family was going to do something prior to the actual Christmas holiday, but you also said that you weren’t sure of what was going on and that you would let me know. At the time, you indicated that it would probably be a SUNDAY, but you did not say whether it was going to be 1 week prior, 2 weeks prior, or anything certain at all. I’m not going to plan my schedule based on guesses and maybes. As far as I was concerned, I was waiting for you to figure out exactly what was going on.
I’m sorry that you waited so long, but that’s not really my problem. I tried to be nice and work with you to come up with a schedule that worked for both of us, but you are unwilling to do anything other than EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT. I was willing to compromise and work with you. You were only willing to DEMAND your schedule and would not budge.
For the record, I am still willing to come up with a compromise with you if you are still interested in having Adam with you and your family on Christmas. I do not want him to miss out on that.
As far as my lawyer meeting with my mother, I’m not sure where that information would have even come from. There is no meeting with my mother as far as I am aware. I’m not sure why there even would be.
I’m pretty sure I already answered your question about the 10th, 11th, etc... My answer was as follows:
*** As far as I know, that will be okay. You have him the weekend of the 7th, 8th, and 9th, which means I would have him on the 10 th anyway. I can just keep him for the week if that would be more convenient for you.
Of course I want him here. Why would you ever consider that I wouldn’t want him here? You know better than that. I am always happy to have Adam with me, regardless of the time or place. Ever since you left, I have done nothing but rearrange my schedule whenever I have had the chance to have Adam with me. I have put everything else in my life on hold in order to spend time with him. For you to even suggest that I wouldn’t want him here is just ignorant.
Email 11:
Todd,
Again I will get back to you about what the Christmas break schedule will be next week. I will be speaking with my lawyer about this issue when he returns to the office.
Just to confirm I will be dropping Adam off around 7:20 in the morning on December 10th and as soon as I hear from the doctors I will let you know about the rest of the week.
Plus Todd you have been aware of when my family holidays were to be - here are the emails to refresh your memory.
-Amy
(Email 3)
Todd,
Let me get this straight - before it was we could talk about nothing other than visitation and now it is we can talk about nothing other than the sale of the home?
I really wish you could decide upon what direction you would like to go in and then realize this isn't just about you and what you feel like talking about or doing.
I have let you know numerous time; I have given my numbers to Judy. I do not agree with the number you have given me and I am not going to say that I do. There were numerous things you left out. There is no way to determine what the final price is going to be. If you are not willing to go below a certain amount please get that to Judy with your top and low number. I have told her that I am willing to sell the house for what the market is dictating. It is a buyers market - not a sellers market right now. I personally am aware of that and would just like to get this house sold.
I asked you nicely to let me know about this holiday and you are unwilling to do that; in which was agreed upon in mediation. I have for over the 14 months let you see and take Adam all the time. I asked for financial help from you back in December - 4 months after we had been gone; with you offering nothing in that time for financial help. You told me you would try but would not agree to it. I have at this point only received 3 child support payments from you. I have given you more and more when it comes to the time you have with Adam and you have given nothing. Just so you understand and our lawyers; I am not willing to change the schedule giving you anymore time for visitation.
We have gone through mediation. During mediation we agreed upon a preliminary visitation. Since that time I have been abiding by that schedule. You were also supposed to get the information about your life insurance policy and retirement funds; neither have been done or handed over to my lawyer. We also agreed to sell the house; that is not happening either. You were supposed to get back to me regarding the list of things in the house; that has not happened either. You were also supposed to start paying child support; that has not happened either. So far Todd it is not me who has been difficult - it seems to be that you are the one who is stone walling the divorce process.
I have sat back and allowed you to dictate what we talk about and when. I am letting you know that isn't going to happen anymore.
We need to discuss this Christmas break schedule at this point in time. I have submitted a proposed time frame and asked for your input. Please get back to me like I requested. You are saying you have no time to discuss this schedule but you put plenty of time and thought into your reply to my email; in which had nothing to do with the Christmas schedule.
Amy
(Email 2)
On 10/9/07, Todd wrote:
Amy,
I am in the middle of trying to find a new house, so I can move out of this one and we can put this house on the market. I have been spending countless hours viewing houses and working with realtors. I really don't have the time to start talking about Christmas break.
I am expecting YOU and ME to come to an agreement on the terms of the sale of the house. I have asked you numerous times to discuss this with me, and you have denied me that. When you want to sit down like an adult and work out the details of the house, I am ready.
Until that time, I really don't have the time or energy to be discussing other things. One thing at a time please. Once the terms of the sale of the house are agreed upon, we can start talking about the visitation schedule. I have already submitted a proposed visitation schedule through the lawyers. You should have received a copy of it.
(Email 1)
On Behalf Of Amy PowersSent: Saturday, October 06, 2007 8:00 AMTo: Todd
Subject: Christmas Holiday...
Todd,
I know it is only October but I want to get the Christmas holiday scheduled with you now so that we know what is going on and I can get it on my calendar...
As was stated in mediation the Wetzel family is trying to do Christmas the Saturday prior to actual Christmas. So this year that would be on the 22nd...
Here is my proposal for the holiday:
I have Adam on:
December 22nd and 23rd instead of you picking him up from school on the 21st. That way will have him around for the Wetzel family and then the boys and I can celebrate the morning of the 23rd and my immediate family can do their Christmas with him on the evening of the 23rd.
You would pick him up the morning of the 24th and have him until Sunday morning the 30th.
I would get him from the 30th until about Noon of the 5th.
You would then have him around Noon on the 5th and take him to school on the morning of the 7th...
So Amy:
December - 22, 23, 30, 31
January 1, 2, 3, 4
with pick up in the early AM on the 24th and 30th and Noon on the 5th
So Todd:
December - 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29
January 5, 6, 7
with pick up in early AM on 24th and 30th and Noon on 5th
Please let me know as soon as you can.
Sorry if this is a bit jumbled - trying to get this typed up prior to heading to a funeral...
Amy
Email 12:
Amy,
As you will clearly note... We were in the middle of discussing the sale of the house and you sent me an email concerning visitation. I replied to you and requested that you keep our discussion on one topic.
What makes you think that I even took the time to read your email? I did not address anything in your email. I did not comment on anything you had to say. I got through the first sentence and quit reading when I realized that it was completely off-topic from what we were discussing at the time and I quickly hit reply and told you that I was expecting to keep the topic of discussion on the house.
As far as I know the email that you quoted below could have simply been manufactured by you here today. I’ve never read any more than the first sentence before. You could have just made the rest of it up today.
I will be happy to have Adam on the week of the 10th. I will plan for it.
FYI: If you are unwilling to honor the schedule that we defined in mediation, then I am going to have to request that we go back to our original visitation schedule where I have him on the weekends from Friday afternoon through Monday morning, and you have him the remainder of the time. The only reason I agreed to give up one weekend a month was because I would be getting that time back at other times throughout the year. One of the two weeks during Christmas break was part of that time.
Todd,
If you are going to quote me - it would do you well to quote what was actually written. The email was from October 10th and the whole email was in regards to the sale of the house. I ended it with this paragraph, "As far as dealing with this divorce ourselves. I am done. From this point on - unless it has to do with Adam directly - point all issues to your lawyer and your lawyer will get in touch with mine; whom will then contact me." If you notice it is very specific that unless it has to do with Adam directly; which the visitation would be; to use the lawyers.
Do not tell me you attempted to work out a visitation schedule with me because it was in those emails you told me that this was the least of your concern and you would only deal with one issue at a time and that issue at that point in time was the sale of the house.
Please contact me after you have had your meeting with your lawyer in December and then we will discuss the visitation at that point.
Amy
Email 8:
Amy,
I don’t take the time to remember every word that you said to me. You’re not worth my time. The only think I remembered is that you hung up on me, saying that everything needed to go through your lawyer. So that’s what I did. Apparently that was the best decision anyway, because you are obviously NOT willing to compromise on any visitation arrangements.
I’m not sure what you are referring to in regards to a meeting with my lawyer in December. I do not have anything scheduled with her at that time.
I’m going to assume by your short email, that you are no longer interested in coming to a compromise concerning Adam’s Christmas break. I was more than willing to discuss you having Adam on the 23rd, as I do not want him to miss out on your family’s Christmas. That is obviously still an option if you want to discuss it.
-Todd
Email 9:
Todd,
I never told you to go through the lawyers and then hung up on you. I have done 99% of the communication with you via email since August.
You need to understand that having Adam on weekends do not mean more than my weeks. Christmas vacation is to be split evenly - and that does mean you will be giving up what has been going on; the weekends during the break he has. Do not tell me I am the one who is unwilling to compromise. You are saying to me that your time is still yours and you are not giving them up but the time I would normally have Adam I have to share. You are being very irrational over what equally split means. If you are unwilling to give up your time then I will consider just keeping the regular schedule. You would have him from 4 PM on the 21st until 8 AM on the 24th and then 4 PM on the 28th until 8 AM on the 31st. Then once school resumes you would pick him up for your overnight at 4 PM on the 7th until 8 AM on the 8th.
Todd you have been aware of when my families Christmas was going to be since our mediation in August. If you decided not to share that with your family - to be perfectly honest - it isn't my fault or problem.
Just because my lawyer asked you to submit what you wanted for visitation does not mean that is what was agreed upon. Nothing has been set in stone. As a matter of fact at this point in time there is no temporary or permanent order in place for visitation with Adam between us. We went through mediation and I have been following that but since you still don't agree to what was decided upon while we were there I am wondering why I am following that at all.
Well your lawyer let mine know she needed to meet with your mom in December to go over what went on in court in order to decide the next steps that needed to be taken (or something along those lines). I kind of got the idea that you would be involved with that process since it is you and I going through the divorce and not your mom and I.
After I have had time to sort through what is going on with all of this - I will get back to you. It probably won't be until next week though because of the holiday and not getting a response from Ken until he is back in the office.
-Amy
Todd,
On another note - I still do not know if you are willing to have me drop Adam off early on the morning of the 10th or not - you have not answered that for me. Also the week of the 11th if I am to be induced I need to know for sure if you are willing to have him there. I have to have this set so I know where each of the boys are going and when. I have started to work on other arraignments because your response was more like you are doing me a favor than you really wanting him there. So please let me know.
-Amy
Email 10:
Amy,
In mediation, you agreed to split the holiday vacation IN ADDITION TO our normal visitation schedule. It sounds to me as if you were not totally aware of exactly what we were talking about in mediation. Perhaps you should have conferred with your lawyer if you were confused. If you are now not willing to split the Christmas vacation with me, as you agreed to in mediation, then I will go ahead and take Adam on my normal weekends, in addition to Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, which are mine this year. I will pick him up on the 21st, and drop him back off on the morning of the 26th.
Since New Years is yours, and that is Monday night/Tuesday morning, then you will have Adam then anyway. Perhaps you and he can celebrate together the 1-year anniversary of the day you gave up on our marriage.
You will also have him on the first weekend of January (4,5,6), so I will pick him up on the 7th for my normal Monday.
Since you are unwilling to split the Christmas vacation time with me, then I expect to make that time up at some other time during the year. I will let you know in advance when there are approximately 5 days that I would like to have Adam.
Contrary to your belief, I have NOT been aware of your family Christmas schedule until the email that you just sent me this week. You MENTIONED in mediation that your family was going to do something prior to the actual Christmas holiday, but you also said that you weren’t sure of what was going on and that you would let me know. At the time, you indicated that it would probably be a SUNDAY, but you did not say whether it was going to be 1 week prior, 2 weeks prior, or anything certain at all. I’m not going to plan my schedule based on guesses and maybes. As far as I was concerned, I was waiting for you to figure out exactly what was going on.
I’m sorry that you waited so long, but that’s not really my problem. I tried to be nice and work with you to come up with a schedule that worked for both of us, but you are unwilling to do anything other than EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT. I was willing to compromise and work with you. You were only willing to DEMAND your schedule and would not budge.
For the record, I am still willing to come up with a compromise with you if you are still interested in having Adam with you and your family on Christmas. I do not want him to miss out on that.
As far as my lawyer meeting with my mother, I’m not sure where that information would have even come from. There is no meeting with my mother as far as I am aware. I’m not sure why there even would be.
I’m pretty sure I already answered your question about the 10th, 11th, etc... My answer was as follows:
*** As far as I know, that will be okay. You have him the weekend of the 7th, 8th, and 9th, which means I would have him on the 10 th anyway. I can just keep him for the week if that would be more convenient for you.
Of course I want him here. Why would you ever consider that I wouldn’t want him here? You know better than that. I am always happy to have Adam with me, regardless of the time or place. Ever since you left, I have done nothing but rearrange my schedule whenever I have had the chance to have Adam with me. I have put everything else in my life on hold in order to spend time with him. For you to even suggest that I wouldn’t want him here is just ignorant.
Email 11:
Todd,
Again I will get back to you about what the Christmas break schedule will be next week. I will be speaking with my lawyer about this issue when he returns to the office.
Just to confirm I will be dropping Adam off around 7:20 in the morning on December 10th and as soon as I hear from the doctors I will let you know about the rest of the week.
Plus Todd you have been aware of when my family holidays were to be - here are the emails to refresh your memory.
-Amy
(Email 3)
Todd,
Let me get this straight - before it was we could talk about nothing other than visitation and now it is we can talk about nothing other than the sale of the home?
I really wish you could decide upon what direction you would like to go in and then realize this isn't just about you and what you feel like talking about or doing.
I have let you know numerous time; I have given my numbers to Judy. I do not agree with the number you have given me and I am not going to say that I do. There were numerous things you left out. There is no way to determine what the final price is going to be. If you are not willing to go below a certain amount please get that to Judy with your top and low number. I have told her that I am willing to sell the house for what the market is dictating. It is a buyers market - not a sellers market right now. I personally am aware of that and would just like to get this house sold.
I asked you nicely to let me know about this holiday and you are unwilling to do that; in which was agreed upon in mediation. I have for over the 14 months let you see and take Adam all the time. I asked for financial help from you back in December - 4 months after we had been gone; with you offering nothing in that time for financial help. You told me you would try but would not agree to it. I have at this point only received 3 child support payments from you. I have given you more and more when it comes to the time you have with Adam and you have given nothing. Just so you understand and our lawyers; I am not willing to change the schedule giving you anymore time for visitation.
We have gone through mediation. During mediation we agreed upon a preliminary visitation. Since that time I have been abiding by that schedule. You were also supposed to get the information about your life insurance policy and retirement funds; neither have been done or handed over to my lawyer. We also agreed to sell the house; that is not happening either. You were supposed to get back to me regarding the list of things in the house; that has not happened either. You were also supposed to start paying child support; that has not happened either. So far Todd it is not me who has been difficult - it seems to be that you are the one who is stone walling the divorce process.
I have sat back and allowed you to dictate what we talk about and when. I am letting you know that isn't going to happen anymore.
We need to discuss this Christmas break schedule at this point in time. I have submitted a proposed time frame and asked for your input. Please get back to me like I requested. You are saying you have no time to discuss this schedule but you put plenty of time and thought into your reply to my email; in which had nothing to do with the Christmas schedule.
Amy
(Email 2)
On 10/9/07, Todd wrote:
Amy,
I am in the middle of trying to find a new house, so I can move out of this one and we can put this house on the market. I have been spending countless hours viewing houses and working with realtors. I really don't have the time to start talking about Christmas break.
I am expecting YOU and ME to come to an agreement on the terms of the sale of the house. I have asked you numerous times to discuss this with me, and you have denied me that. When you want to sit down like an adult and work out the details of the house, I am ready.
Until that time, I really don't have the time or energy to be discussing other things. One thing at a time please. Once the terms of the sale of the house are agreed upon, we can start talking about the visitation schedule. I have already submitted a proposed visitation schedule through the lawyers. You should have received a copy of it.
(Email 1)
On Behalf Of Amy PowersSent: Saturday, October 06, 2007 8:00 AMTo: Todd
Subject: Christmas Holiday...
Todd,
I know it is only October but I want to get the Christmas holiday scheduled with you now so that we know what is going on and I can get it on my calendar...
As was stated in mediation the Wetzel family is trying to do Christmas the Saturday prior to actual Christmas. So this year that would be on the 22nd...
Here is my proposal for the holiday:
I have Adam on:
December 22nd and 23rd instead of you picking him up from school on the 21st. That way will have him around for the Wetzel family and then the boys and I can celebrate the morning of the 23rd and my immediate family can do their Christmas with him on the evening of the 23rd.
You would pick him up the morning of the 24th and have him until Sunday morning the 30th.
I would get him from the 30th until about Noon of the 5th.
You would then have him around Noon on the 5th and take him to school on the morning of the 7th...
So Amy:
December - 22, 23, 30, 31
January 1, 2, 3, 4
with pick up in the early AM on the 24th and 30th and Noon on the 5th
So Todd:
December - 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29
January 5, 6, 7
with pick up in early AM on 24th and 30th and Noon on 5th
Please let me know as soon as you can.
Sorry if this is a bit jumbled - trying to get this typed up prior to heading to a funeral...
Amy
Email 12:
Amy,
As you will clearly note... We were in the middle of discussing the sale of the house and you sent me an email concerning visitation. I replied to you and requested that you keep our discussion on one topic.
What makes you think that I even took the time to read your email? I did not address anything in your email. I did not comment on anything you had to say. I got through the first sentence and quit reading when I realized that it was completely off-topic from what we were discussing at the time and I quickly hit reply and told you that I was expecting to keep the topic of discussion on the house.
As far as I know the email that you quoted below could have simply been manufactured by you here today. I’ve never read any more than the first sentence before. You could have just made the rest of it up today.
I will be happy to have Adam on the week of the 10th. I will plan for it.
FYI: If you are unwilling to honor the schedule that we defined in mediation, then I am going to have to request that we go back to our original visitation schedule where I have him on the weekends from Friday afternoon through Monday morning, and you have him the remainder of the time. The only reason I agreed to give up one weekend a month was because I would be getting that time back at other times throughout the year. One of the two weeks during Christmas break was part of that time.
Email Insanity (Part 3)....
Email 13:
Todd,
Again; as I have stated before - I will get back to you about what the Christmas break schedule will be next week.
I will be speaking with my lawyer about this issue when he returns to the office next week.
-Amy
Email 14:
Amy,
As far as I’m concerned, if you are unwilling to split up the weekdays of Adam’s Christmas break as we had agreed to, then I will simply maintain my weekend visitation.
Additionally, since you are obviously not willing to work with me on the visitation schedule that we agreed to during mediation, then I’m going to have to request that we revert to the visitation schedule that we had been using prior to visitation, where I have Adam every weekend. We will continue that until you can work things out with your lawyer. I don’t have time to bicker with you about it.
-Todd
Email 15:
Todd,
As I stated - I will get back to you next week as to what the Christmas break schedule will be next week.
Whether you like it or not we still do not have a visitation schedule that has been decided to. So if we are going to revert to anything it will be the every other weekend that we were doing with the evening times during the week that started in August prior to the mediation.
Todd,
Again; as I have stated before - I will get back to you about what the Christmas break schedule will be next week.
I will be speaking with my lawyer about this issue when he returns to the office next week.
-Amy
Email 14:
Amy,
As far as I’m concerned, if you are unwilling to split up the weekdays of Adam’s Christmas break as we had agreed to, then I will simply maintain my weekend visitation.
Additionally, since you are obviously not willing to work with me on the visitation schedule that we agreed to during mediation, then I’m going to have to request that we revert to the visitation schedule that we had been using prior to visitation, where I have Adam every weekend. We will continue that until you can work things out with your lawyer. I don’t have time to bicker with you about it.
-Todd
Email 15:
Todd,
As I stated - I will get back to you next week as to what the Christmas break schedule will be next week.
Whether you like it or not we still do not have a visitation schedule that has been decided to. So if we are going to revert to anything it will be the every other weekend that we were doing with the evening times during the week that started in August prior to the mediation.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Happy Thanksgiving!
Seeing how it is Thanksgiving this blog should be about what I am thankful for. This is going to be a difficult post for me because over the past few days I have been very stressed out and even though I should be thinking about what I am thankful for - it has been more like what I am not so thankful for...01. I am thankful I have a roof over my head. I have struggled financially for the last 9 months (technically speaking) and yet I have managed to make each and every one of the rent payments that have been due since I have lived here (which is a total of 13 payments now).
02. I am thankful for my oldest son. Even though most days I would like to slap the child he is my son and I love him anyway. It is hard dealing with a child who is 14 and has hormones and is bipolar all at once. Oh lets not forget who also knows at 14 what is best for himself and his life. Gosh I am thankful we both make it through each day!
03. I am thankful for my youngest son. Even though right now he hates (has much anger towards) me because I broke the family up and left Todd to be on his own while he is sick. He is a blessing on most days even when he is mad at me. Reminds me of the love and caring I did teach him to have.
04. I am thankful for this pregnancy and the daughter I am going to have. It has been a rough pregnancy with lots of mishaps. I have really struggled. I am doing my best to not blame myself for everything going on due to the sin of me having this child because she is a blessing no matter how she came about.
05. I am thankful for my friends in real life. I might not have many of them really but those whom are there are really there for me. I lost a lot of my friends over the years because of the controlling nature of the relationship I was in yet one stayed. She has been a blessing; even when I am jealous of her good fortunes.
06. I am thankful for my friends online. God has used them in my life in ways I never knew possible. I would say that most of my friends who are in my life are from online relationships. They have given me much advice and guidance and He has used them as only He would know how to do.
07. I am thankful I am still able to get things done with my big belly. I have been so tired lately and I am feeling like a house. Yet when I have the energy to get things done I am making sure they get done.
08. I am thankful for the loads of laundry that need to be washed. You see it means that I am providing things for my boys. I don't really enjoy laundry but it reminds me as I move past them each day that we are taken care of right now.
09. I am thankful for the giving nature of others. I am not one who enjoys having to ask for help but when I do it seems that the Lord uses those whom He knows will show me that others care.
10. I am thankful for Jack. He was brought into my life about 11 months ago now. He is Isabella's dad. He might not be here all the time but he does give me time. He has helped me to see that not all men are bad. He has helped me to laugh and in turn heal over the past year. He might not understand everything about me but he does love me and he does want to help me.
11. I am thankful for having a camera that works. I love taking pictures and I love my children. So right now I am very thankful that I am able to capture what is going on around us with the camera I have. They might not be the best pictures in the world but they are pictures of us being a family.
12. I am thankful for the help I have received during this pregnancy. Due to me not being able to work and my limited income the medications I have needed for this pregnancy have been hard to come by. Although each time something is needed; even if I am unable to find the way to get it - someone else has been there to help me get the medication that I need.
13. I am thankful for the divorce I am going through. I am not thankful because I am divorcing my husband of 7 years or the man I have been with for the past 10 years. I am thankful that I had the courage to break out of the chains of fear that I was living in; even after leaving him. I am thankful the Lord helped me to find a lawyer and take the steps that were needed to file for divorce to break though those chains. I am thankful that recently (like in the past 4 days) I have seen truly how irrational he is. I am thankful that I have recently seen (like in the last month) how he truly does create his own reality to make things better for himself. It helped me to see that this divorce was needed and is the right thing to be doing.
14. I am thankful for God. I might be struggling with faith at the moment but He has never left my side. I might pull away from Him when things are bad and yet He is still right there waiting for me to return to Him.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Holidays, Children and Ex's
I have been looking forward to Thanksgiving day this year. I would have both my boys and I was excited to be able to cherish that time with them. I won't have Adam on Christmas Eve or Day this year and that really saddens me. It will be the first time ever I have not have both of my children on a Holiday.
Well that isn't totally true I didn't have Adam last Easter, Mothers Day or Thanksgiving but I got through them because I kind of pretended the days didn't exist. I don't think it will be that easy with Christmas though.
Well now lets get back to Thanksgiving. Adam and I are talking about this upcoming weekend. He lets me know that Todd will be picking him up early Friday morning. I told him no I am not giving up my time with you just because it is a holiday weekend Adam. He started to huff and puff and I said plus your dad has not called to discuss this with me and he needs to if he feels he is picking you up at a much earlier time.
It went into him telling me you have me all week long and dad doesn't get any time with me - when you do have me all you do is make dinner, make me clean and do homework and never spend time with me or you are on the phone and we never do anything - oh and he doesn't want to live with me anymore because we never have money.
Talk about a heartbreaking morning. Knowing your child doesn't want to be with you.
He walked out of the house without even saying good-bye to me.
So now what? What do I do?
Well that isn't totally true I didn't have Adam last Easter, Mothers Day or Thanksgiving but I got through them because I kind of pretended the days didn't exist. I don't think it will be that easy with Christmas though.
Well now lets get back to Thanksgiving. Adam and I are talking about this upcoming weekend. He lets me know that Todd will be picking him up early Friday morning. I told him no I am not giving up my time with you just because it is a holiday weekend Adam. He started to huff and puff and I said plus your dad has not called to discuss this with me and he needs to if he feels he is picking you up at a much earlier time.
It went into him telling me you have me all week long and dad doesn't get any time with me - when you do have me all you do is make dinner, make me clean and do homework and never spend time with me or you are on the phone and we never do anything - oh and he doesn't want to live with me anymore because we never have money.
Talk about a heartbreaking morning. Knowing your child doesn't want to be with you.
He walked out of the house without even saying good-bye to me.
So now what? What do I do?
Thursday, November 1, 2007
The Day After Halloween....
It was a rainy night last night. It started to sprinkle as we went outside - go figure. Then it started to get really windy. We still went trick or treating though.
We didn't make it through the whole neighborhood as they had planned. After about a hour and 15 minutes of walking Adam's feet were hurting and Kyle was tired of doing it as well. So we left.
I broke my umbrella. Actually the wind broke my umbrella. I cut myself on it. At least I was able to get it to stop bleeding. Darn blood thinners!
Kyle and Adam after we got home. Yes I have taught my children to not play with guns and knives and swords. You can see how well they have learned.
Finally got a really good smile out of Adam. Only to have Kyle in the background being a ham as usual!
We didn't make it through the whole neighborhood as they had planned. After about a hour and 15 minutes of walking Adam's feet were hurting and Kyle was tired of doing it as well. So we left.
I broke my umbrella. Actually the wind broke my umbrella. I cut myself on it. At least I was able to get it to stop bleeding. Darn blood thinners!
Below are some pictures of the boys on Halloween. I am going to be picture happy for a while now.
Ninja Adam 
Deathman Kyle
Adam with his pumpkin and bag of candy after we got home.
Kyle with his pumpkin and bag of candy after we got home.
Kyle and Adam after we got home. Yes I have taught my children to not play with guns and knives and swords. You can see how well they have learned.
Finally got a really good smile out of Adam. Only to have Kyle in the background being a ham as usual!
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Happy Halloween!
Halloween is today. Adam is excited to go out. Kyle changes his mind every other minute on if he is going out, staying in, and then what he plans on being. I give up - he is 14 and when he finally decides he will let me know...I am going to be walking Adam this year. It isn't my favorite thing to do and since I am supposed to be on bed-rest still I am not supposed to be doing it. Yet I am.
Last night we did pumpkins. I break out in a rash from the darn pumpkin guts. Adam loves pumpkin seeds roasted (and so do I). So I spent a good couple of hours digging in the pumpkin guts and pulling out the seeds. I was hurting and exhausted by the time I was done.
Then to be honest with me being pregnant I should not have been cooking them anyway. I forgot to spray the pan - put them in the oven - stirred them a few times - each time throwing some off the pan into the oven - filling the house with smoke - but at least in the end they turned out okay.
Was not as many as we normally have but they still taste good. Adam took some in a bag to school today. He was really happy. I think that is one of his favorite things this time of year!
Well just wanted to say to those who do celebrate (even if it doesn't make you happy):
HAPPY
HALLOWEEN
FRIENDS
AND
FAMILY!
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
It Was The Day Before Halloween....
and one of my best friends had no Halloween costumes for her 3 (of 4) children. So I scurried around trying to find things for the little buggers...Financially for most I know it has been rough; including myself of course. Yet I am a sucker when it comes to children.
It isn't their fault their parents are not maintaining jobs. They still have a right to the things they had in the past. The husband was cut down to part time work in September. He knew about it in the beginning of August. He still doesn't have a second job or full time job to make up for what was lost. He isn't even looking. Of course I probably should just let them deal with it on their own but being the person I am - I could not do that...
Adam was Anakin Skywalker last year. The costume was the one when he flew in that race. Of course it will be huge on Joshua but at least it is a costume for him. So I spent some time and found the mask and costume itself.
When they came out here to pick it up he seemed to be pretty happy with it. He put the mask on and just laughed about it. He is such a funny child at times. I am hoping he enjoys it...
April whom is their middle child gets a hand me down costume. Last year her sister was Snow White. So this year she gets to be Snow White. So I didn't have to try and come up with a costume for her.Okay so I know the reality is I didn't have to come up with anything for any of them but I felt bad and wanted to help. It is just who I am.
I could have nothing for myself and be in such need on my own (like I am) and yet I will do what I have to do for others who are in need as well.
They had a white dress with a white knit shawl that I pieced together.
So she gets to be a bride this year. Might not be what she wanted but it was what I could find. She will just have to be happy with it.
At the same time of being there for one of my shops though I did find somethings that we can use to make some Christmas presents out of.
They had a couple of pie tins up there. Has anyone ever put an image on a pie pan and than taken a hammer and nail and pounded it out? They take a bit of time but they turn out pretty neat. So I am going to spend some time looking around online to see if we can find something cool to make for my parents or whomever the boys decide to do it for. I got two pie tins so they each get one.
Oh and my boys for Halloween are going to be a Ninja and Napoleon Dynamite.Can you figure out who is who?
All we are doing is recycling whatever we have around... I sure do miss my things - the things I used to have at the house that could just throw things together. I could whip up a costume in no time with all of the things I had there.
I am not into possessions but some times I really miss some of those types of things. LOL
Boy there is nothing like a child being happy with what is in front of them! Makes you day you know... Just knowing you helped them out and made them smile.
Somehow no matter how horrible your day is - when the children smile and laugh - all worries seem to go away...
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Life....
Today was Kyle's IEP meeting. For the first time in about 7 years I feel as if we got somewhere! I have been trying and trying to get him more help. It has been hard, no one really "hears" what I am suggesting for him and it has been hard on him throughout the year because of it.
This year they came to me with the change. I was MORE than happy to agree to the changes they wanted to make! They added EI to the OHI and that adds more help to him. It isn't just a "learning" disability anymore. They have to help him when he struggles; they have to be more accommodating. It does not excuse things; it does not make excuses for him but it helps the teachers understand that there are more issues than just the ADD issue.
Thank goodness for him working with the same people over the past 3 years to finally be able to bring about this change for him!
Now I am feeling a bit better tonight. I won a cabbage patch kid on Ebay for my niece! I have bought my first Christmas present! I have figured approximately how much I will have for each month for presents and if I can get everyone their stuff prior to Isabella showing up then great!
I am not going to want to haul a newborn out to go Christmas shopping in December. Then having to come home and haul everything into the house. Then having to wrap it all still. YUCK!
I am more than happy to get it all done and over with PRIOR to her getting here! I have kind of decided that what I get done by the time she gets here is what is going to be done. Unless of course one of the boy's big presents is not purchased yet - then I will have to go and get that; or beg Jack to do it for me.
I am even going to get the books bought for the boys at this point in time. They get a new book or set of books each Christmas. I am still going to have some left over and so I am going to buy them out of this book order at school. So I will actually have 3 things purchased! Since they are not getting that much this year - having 3 things purchased by the end of September makes me feel 80% better than I did a few days ago.
Of course I am still stressed out about the whole Christmas situation this year but that is nothing I am not used to. It happens each year actually so you would think by this time I would be a pro at sucking at this part of the year!
This year they came to me with the change. I was MORE than happy to agree to the changes they wanted to make! They added EI to the OHI and that adds more help to him. It isn't just a "learning" disability anymore. They have to help him when he struggles; they have to be more accommodating. It does not excuse things; it does not make excuses for him but it helps the teachers understand that there are more issues than just the ADD issue.
Thank goodness for him working with the same people over the past 3 years to finally be able to bring about this change for him!
Now I am feeling a bit better tonight. I won a cabbage patch kid on Ebay for my niece! I have bought my first Christmas present! I have figured approximately how much I will have for each month for presents and if I can get everyone their stuff prior to Isabella showing up then great!I am not going to want to haul a newborn out to go Christmas shopping in December. Then having to come home and haul everything into the house. Then having to wrap it all still. YUCK!
I am more than happy to get it all done and over with PRIOR to her getting here! I have kind of decided that what I get done by the time she gets here is what is going to be done. Unless of course one of the boy's big presents is not purchased yet - then I will have to go and get that; or beg Jack to do it for me.
I am even going to get the books bought for the boys at this point in time. They get a new book or set of books each Christmas. I am still going to have some left over and so I am going to buy them out of this book order at school. So I will actually have 3 things purchased! Since they are not getting that much this year - having 3 things purchased by the end of September makes me feel 80% better than I did a few days ago.
Of course I am still stressed out about the whole Christmas situation this year but that is nothing I am not used to. It happens each year actually so you would think by this time I would be a pro at sucking at this part of the year!
Monday, September 17, 2007
Holidays - Already?!
It is only the middle of September and I am already getting stressed out over the holidays. Oh how I love them!
I struggle with the time from Halloween to the beginning of the New Year. I have always been a people pleaser. I want everyone to be happy; which ultimately leads to me being unhappy.
I want to get my shopping done prior to Isabella showing up. I was thinking I had more time - until I looked at a calendar today! I don't have as much time as I was thinking.
I think I would like to be a bear. They are hibernating by this time of year and don't have to deal with anything. I really think I would like to be a bear!
The most stressful things for me comes to this:
1. I have to talk with my family about what they would like to do for Christmas this year because I am not going to have Adam on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day this year. I would like to think they will be understanding but am sure I am going to hear nothing but negative crap (as is the custom from my parents).
2. I have to talk with Todd about what/when he would like Adam other than for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I am thinking though that because I won't talk to him about the house directly; he is going to put off talking to me.
3. I have to have my first Christmas ever without Adam.
4. I have to allow Isabella to go with Jack for a while. Not really that big of a deal but I am a protective mom and not knowing his family - oh this is just stress. It will be fine I am sure but - I am attempting to just not think about it now.
I can get through this year of holidays. I will once again be that people pleasing person while stressing myself out. I wish that wasn't who I am and I could change it but each time I do; it is blamed on my bipolar and well that is a totally different rant...
I struggle with the time from Halloween to the beginning of the New Year. I have always been a people pleaser. I want everyone to be happy; which ultimately leads to me being unhappy.
I want to get my shopping done prior to Isabella showing up. I was thinking I had more time - until I looked at a calendar today! I don't have as much time as I was thinking.
I think I would like to be a bear. They are hibernating by this time of year and don't have to deal with anything. I really think I would like to be a bear!
The most stressful things for me comes to this:
1. I have to talk with my family about what they would like to do for Christmas this year because I am not going to have Adam on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day this year. I would like to think they will be understanding but am sure I am going to hear nothing but negative crap (as is the custom from my parents).
2. I have to talk with Todd about what/when he would like Adam other than for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I am thinking though that because I won't talk to him about the house directly; he is going to put off talking to me.
3. I have to have my first Christmas ever without Adam.
4. I have to allow Isabella to go with Jack for a while. Not really that big of a deal but I am a protective mom and not knowing his family - oh this is just stress. It will be fine I am sure but - I am attempting to just not think about it now.
I can get through this year of holidays. I will once again be that people pleasing person while stressing myself out. I wish that wasn't who I am and I could change it but each time I do; it is blamed on my bipolar and well that is a totally different rant...
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