Emotionally Drained

What a day...

Took my car back into Saturn. Another thing wrong with it. No joke. How in the heck can anything else go wrong on my car? 4 weeks in a row now. FOUR! Before leaving I stopped in and asked if there is literally anything else that could go wrong - of course there are other things that could go wrong on it; how silly to think everything could be fixed.

Then lets look at the fact I had marriage therapy today. Yup that went - it went. We are going to have breakfast on Friday. He is going to call me and I need to think about where to go. I am thinking either Burger King or McDonalds. It is all I can afford. It is supposed to be a weekly update meeting. Nothing in depth. Just to talk about what goes on during the week, my new job, the kids, and stuff like that.

Then tonight Tony and I had a talk about Kyle. I knew it was coming though. I knew it was coming because I made Kyle go to bed when we got home from church. Of course that came up because Kyle told me on the way home he has homework. I am mean to Kyle. I have cut myself off from him emotionally. I did it because with Todd around I could not talk to him, he was always in trouble and so many other things. I know I did this and I know I have to fix it. I just don't know how right now.

I am emotionally drained tonight. I am emotionally drained.

My heart is not in the right spot over anything right now. I have doubts about almost everything. I am really thinking that I don't even want my marriage to work. Yes you read that right.

I am not going to get into why or defend myself because there is nothing to defend. It is just how I am feeling.