Peace...

So it is Sunday. I have been speaking with my Pastors on a regular basis. Either in email, on the phone or in person. They have been aware of my steps, my struggles and my ups and downs.

I am sitting here today with the TV on in front of me. I am watching NASCAR. This is the weekend they are in Alabama at Talledaga. Back in 2004 Todd and I were in a real struggle. We had not been intimate in 255 days total (in a row). He hated me because I caught him doing things and he was mean about it. I was praying a lot for strength and the wisdom to do what was right.

He called on a Friday at about 4:30 and asked what we were doing for the weekend. I said church and Kyles football game. He asked if we would like to go to Alabama for the race. One of the guys he worked with was making a last minute trip down there with his family and they asked if we wanted to join them.

So we did. We got everything ready and then after Kyles game headed down to Alabama for the race on Sunday. It was a wonderful time. We got along. We didn't fight even though we spent 28 hours in the car together. We stopped at different spots on the way home to explore and look around. We had a wonderful weekend.

Now here I am this weekend - watching the race on TV and my husband is no where to be seen. I can't go into the next room to say hey. I can't lay down in bed and have him cuddle with me. I can't go give him a hug. I can't reach out to him.

My heart is breaking today. I talked with Pastor Mark today. I prayed with Pastor Mark today. I know it is okay. I know I will be okay. I know the Lord loves me. I know He is with both of us during this time.

Please pray for peace with all who are involved right now. We have some very rough times ahead of us and we all need to know that the Lord is with us and we will be okay.