Teaching

How do you teach a 14 year old that things are never going to be easy. Things are never going to be fair. Yet at the same time - your attitude, your decisions, your response - it up to you. You can't take your anger and resentment out on other people just because the get to do something.



Todd takes Adam each and every weekend. He takes him to the movies, out to dinner, camping, and most importantly - dirt biking.



Todd took Kyle the last three weekends. Then it ended. Kyle was bored because Todd expects him to not be bored, to stay by him, to just watch and to behave. Kyle isn't allowed to just go off and play - he has to stay by Todd. Nothing Kyle does can be an accident either - it is always on purpose (which 90% of the time it is though but still there is that 10%). So this weekend Kyle was not allowed to go.



Prior to Todd coming to pick up Adam world war 5 million took place. Kyle telling Adam he has no right to go and dirt bike - then it was you stupid this - I hate you that - I hope you drop dead - usual things - Adam is lying - Adam is an idiot - Kyle hit me and the tears start.



Then because I try to talk to Kyle about what is right and wrong I turn into a horrible person who doesn't care and why should you (if you could only hear the ton that comes out of his mouth). Life here sucks and it isn't fair and you hate me and I hate you and I am leaving and going where ever I feel like and you can't stop me because I am 14 - you can't hold me down and keep me here. I am never happy around you and you are insane why should I stay.



It is a never ending cycle when Kyle doesn't get his way. I end up in tears because I can't keep on doing this. I can't take back the past. I can only move forward but I seem to not know how to even do that the right way.



Even after the kids are gone for a weekend - I am on edge the moment they walk in that door. I am just waiting for the angry eruption because Kyle doesn't get his way. Adam always get to do whatever he wants and I never do.



I flat out asked him today what he thought was going to happen the past three weekends with Todd. He could not answer me. I asked him if he thought Todd had changed enough and he himself had changed enough to be able have fun. He had no idea - but I knew the answer to that - neither of them have changed enough.



Just pray that this school thinks he is a good fit. He needs help - and it is help no one here can give.