Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Hard Decisions...

Everyone in life has hard decisions to make. No one can judge how difficult something is for someone else; especially if they are not in their shoes.

I left what I considered to be an abusive relationship. Maybe others did not feel it was but I felt it was. It took me a long time to get up the courage to leave him.

In the time it took me to get the courage up to leave him; he became sick. His leg started to have issues and we dealt with many doctors and specialists. At the time I left I had no idea what he had. They had ruled out ALS (Lou-Gehrig's Disease) and were leaning towards MS. I though didn't really believe it; still felt it might be ALS.

I am not a doctor but in my gut - I had a feeling. Then earlier this year he was diagnosed with it. I had not even been gone a year.

It was not easy to walk out the door with feeling like something more than MS was going on with him. Yet I had to do it.

Now here I am going through a divorce and being made to feel guilty by him. He is alone and I abandoned him in his time of need.

We all have difficult decisions that have to be made. Some are more difficult than others but they are each persons difficulties.

What do you do with those guilty feelings though after all is said and done? Some days are harder than others but how do you make it through...

3 comments:

samurai said...

Prayer is the only way through those dark valleys...

praying for you "sis"...

One Scrappy Gal said...

In the end, you have to live your life for you. We can't focus on the should haves, could haves, would haves. I have a friend that'sin a horrible relationship but will not leave because she is afraid her daughter's will hate her. The man is a thief, drug user, ruiner of good credit, adulterer and liar and she stays because of her girls. Anything can happen. I could leave my husband if our relationship was bad, he could go outside to get the mail, get hit by a car, and become a paraplegic. Does that fix the problems we had in our relationship? No. People say life is short but I really think it's long when you're miserable. Please don't let him make you feel one ounce of guilt. Not ever. He could have done so much to try and fix things if he really wanted to back when you two were together.

samurai said...

I just wanted to let you know that I chose you as one of those whom God disciples me over on my <blog. It's called the "Mathetes Award"

I know you may not feel like you do this, but you have really been a blessing in my life, and God has used you, to disciple me. Thank you.