Broken

I feel as if I keep on hitting brick walls. Go down to the courthouse today. I can not file for temporary custody until a motion is filed. So what that means is unless I file for a divorce a motions for custody can not happen. Now I could just file a motion for custody but that is just for unwed people.

So I ended up calling the school to find out what I could do. We are going to have me schooling Adam for the first couple of weeks.Went to call Qwest and MCI today. Todd had put all of those into his name. Well I had to remove myself from the MCI one but I am not looking to hurt him or his company. The Qwest one they already took my name off of it.

I am broken inside at this moment. I realized today that this marriage is probable over. He switched the bills into his name. Instead of worrying about calling Pastor Mark or Lew he called the bills because he still thinks I am the old me. The one looking to hurt him. The one who will make him pay.

"Fear not Amy - I the Lord am with you and you are 4GVN"

My heart broke today when it dawned on me - he does not love me enough to want to make the marriage work.

I fear he has already filed for a divorce. Of course he is going to want Adam.

I am feeling broken Lord. Very broken. I feel as if I should have just stayed and lived with it all.

I have not called family because I am afraid of what they are going to say. Must be my bipolar. Me just doing things without thinking.

I am broken.