Past Couple of Days...

Have been very rough on me. Words have kind of escaped me. I know that all of these things going on are not my fault per say but I have added to them I am sure.

I have been in a huge struggle with myself. What do I do to provide for my boys? What do I do to get my bills paid off?

I have been thinking the past day or so I was just going to go and start to apply for jobs again. Even though I am not supposed to work right now I need the money. Even though no one will hire me because I can't get a work release from a doctor - I feel the need to try. I have a month or less until this little girl is here; why can't I wait? I have made it this long with the struggle.

I guess what upsets me more than anything else is the fact that I am doing it all alone. All I hear from the boys fathers is, "You know I have no problem providing for them I just don't have the money right now." Well how in the heck do you think they are being provided for then? How do you think food is being fed to them? How do you think they are getting clothing to cover their bodies? How do you think they have a roof over their heads? I guess even if you don't have money - you find a way to provide for them because they need to be taken care of!

I can't give them the extras they would like although I am keeping them with full bellies, dry heads, clothed bodies and some toys to play with.

I have to sit by and watch their fathers do all the extras and have all the fun with them. It hurts to see all of this going on. It makes me feel as if they are trying to punish me but in the end all it does is hurt the kids.

Computers Suck...

Well as some of you know my computer crashed in June.

When it crashed I took it into Best Buy which is where I bought it from. Not a big deal until they come out and say, "Where is your recovery disk? We can't put anything on your computer without your recovery disk."

Okay now mind you - I am not the smartest computer person in the world BUT I do know some things about computers. I know you need a recovery disk. The problem came when it dawned on me I didn't set my computer up. Never saw anything come up telling me to create a recovery disk - so I never did it. When I asked the person who set my computer up if they created a recovery disk and I was told no - my heart sank.

I had my girlfriend get on HP's website and she tried to enter the information in for me to order a recovery disk. It would not go through. So I called HP then. Well according to them I had a hot computer. The place I bought to computer from never sent verification that this computer had been sold. After going round and round between Best Buy and HP - they finally (HP) were going to send out a disk in August. YEAH for me...

Then I got the disk and it was not the right disk. So I call them back. They have me send it back and then when they get it they will send out a new one. We went through this process 3 times and now we end up here today.

I make a phone call to find out the latest progress on this whole pain in my bottom situation. For the lady to be a bigger pain in my butt.

I am sorry mama but it has been over a year we can't just send you a disk in the mail - you need to be paying for these disks now.

I just started to laugh and got the response of, I am allowed to hang the phone up on you for being inappropriate.

That just made me laugh even harder. I said Lady I have been working on this since June the computer at that point was NOT over a year old.

Then she proceeds to let me know that she can't send a CD recovery disk out to me because there is already a Windows XP Media Center Edition 2006 sticker with a code on the bottom of my computer. What the sam hell are you talking about women?

So once again - I sit and wait - for another manager to call me and for me to start from the beginning again!

Some days computers suck!