BLOG....

The reminder was just given by a friend after getting back in touch with him after a long and hard phone conversation....

Why is life so hard? Maybe it isn't as hard as I think it is but it feels like it - especially at times like this...

I had to do parenting time coordination today. Nothing was resolved. Not a thing!

I in many ways was proud of myself for not backing down or giving up a single day! On the other hand we now need to go through a custody evaluation.

My fear is Adam will no longer live with me. I can see it happening. I can see me losing Adam.

I have to ready the house. I have to ready my life. I have to ready my heart and mind for the just in case.

I know that I might be told it is silly to worry about that because it might not happen but what if it does happen. Then what? I would lose it is I lost him...

Here is the kicker - Adam's dad does not feel I am a fit parent. His parents don't see me as a fit parent. My parents did a while ago and you know I am pretty sure they still don't feel I am fit.

I did have some issues. I admit that. I have been working on those issues and things are better.

I am bipolar and I have been in the hospital because of it before. It doesn't mean I am a bad person or a bad mom. It just means I needed more help at one point.

I am worried about this. I don't know how not to worry about it. I don't even know if that is the right word but I guess I just have to prepare...