Been over-thinking the conversation Todd and I had last week. More and more I think about what he said and it just makes no sense to me at all.
He has said for a long time he doesn't really believe I am bipolar. So then he was blaming him questioning the money I was spending on if I was manic and then he thought maybe I wasn't taking my meds and then he found a script that I never filled and got worried.
Well he still thinks when I went to pine rest for the mania and then for the depression that I was just faking it and trying to punish him.
So how is it that after all these years (almost 9 to be exact) that he is all of a sudden worried about my bipolar and believes I have it but yet still doesn't think my trips to pine rest were anything more than a payback?
He tells me I am the one playing the games and yet I don't think it is me. Is it wrong to feel as if he is playing games with me and then blaming me for them?
I love him so much it hurts to not be with him. I am sad. I am getting to the point where I am not sad but depressed. It is starting to worry me.
I am really confused and need to stop over analysing everything that is said.
Went to church today. Oh did it feel good. I have missed my church family. I know I only missed one Sunday but really to me - it feels like so much more than one Sunday.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment