How do you find your voice when you are scared of someone? Even after being gone for all this time (20 months).
He called this morning and instantly I started to shake and get sick to my stomach.
We are supposed to be having parenting time coordination this week and he will get what he wants because I am so afraid of the repercussions of speaking out.
I have given in on everything. Maybe I haven't really - maybe that is just my perception of the way it has been. I really don't know anymore.
When I look back though - I have given in. I am just hurting inside because of the stress all of this has caused in my life.
I have rosacea. I hate being in public because of how I look. It gets worse anytime I have to deal with him. Anytime I get stressed over this. I don't want to do anything because of how I look. I make plans and then look at myself and cancel them.
When I look back - maybe it wasn't so bad. Maybe what I felt was abuse really isn't abuse. This part of it is bad - and it is killing me slowly inside.
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1 comment:
Hi, this is my first time here. I came her by way of your comment at Learning for Lifetime. I just feel for all that you are going through, and I hope you feel stronger and that fear leaves you. Also, I have psoriasis, so I know the feeling of a flare up when I get emotional. Wishing blessings on you.
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